How to Drink a Bottle

By Sevryn Frey.

Because I'm a generous person, I'm writing the steps involved for someone to get the most out of their bottle drinking: None of that sitting quietly crap; use all the space available, all the time!

Observe:

Step 1: Refuse to sit on lap of either parent, and rebuff all attempts at cuddling. Cuddling is for babies, and you are not a baby, soldier!